March's Week One Check-In

I am happy to report I made it through week one. I wish I could say it has been a perfect week and I have been calm, patient, ever connected mother I set out to become at the beginning of this challenge. This week, like every week, has had its ups and downs. There were days I was at the top of my game and days when I've had to apologize several times to my children for losing patience with them, including one especially bad episode around dinner time when I had a melt down. But, let's not dwell on that.....all in all it was an improvement. I have made a conscious effort to be a good mother to my children and it has made a difference. I have felt more at peace. I have felt a bigger sense of purpose in my parenting.
I am not sure all of my children have sensed my efforts, but I do know Paige has. She has always been the child who is most receptive to my moods. This week she has mentioned "Thank you for being so calm with us even though you have a headache." and "You seem really happy today, happier than you were before." These types of comments let me know that my children do follow my lead, that I do set the tone in our home, and that it is SO important for me to show that I love them, I love being a mother, and even though it is hard that they are more than worth every bit of effort I put in on their behalf. I am excited to see what the rest of the month has in store.
This next week I want to focus more on the comments I make, both to my children and about my duties as a mother. There are days when I grumble about making dinner, complain about driving them to school, freak out because their shoes are left scattered all over the entry way AGAIN.... And I have found that some of my comments to them are not at all constructive. So this week I am going to really focus on using the THINK method. Is it to suppress the first thought that springs into my mind and ask myself,
Is it True?
Is it Helpful?
Is it Inspiring?
Is it Necessary?
Is it Kind?
And if it's not, I don't need to be saying it to my children. It is easy to find fault with others, but this week I am going to work on finding good and encouraging it. This week here's to keeping my mouthy mouth shut and more deep breathing. :)

March's Mission: Mindful Mothering

Since becoming diagnosed with Graves' Disease I have learned the importance of being mindful. Before truly learning about what it meant to be mindful the only image that came to mind was people sitting in India in an outdoor arbor with their legs bent at impossible angles, pointer fingers touching thumbs, humming a mantra. Quite honestly, I thought it was weird, awkward, and not something I wanted and/or needed to learn about or participate in. However, I have come to love mediation and mindfulness. Mindfulness in simple terms is slowing down and living life moment by moment, enjoying the sights, sounds, feelings, emotions, etc. that come with each experience.

Too often in my busy life, I let moments slip by without even being aware of what I am missing. The little songs my girls sing when they are playing in their rooms. The sweet sticky kisses pressed to my cheek as I am hastily counting down the minutes until bedtime. The giggles, the wilted flowers given to me as gifts, the smell of freshly washed children, the feeling of peace and love that can come as I simply ponder the wonder it is to be a mother to these amazing spirits.

I hate to say it but with my sickness a sense of selfishness crept in. In simply doing what I felt I needed to do to make it through my days, I became entirely wrapped up in myself in many aspects. Instead of focusing on my children's needs I was focusing on my own. This in and of itself is not entirely wrong, I did need to focus on myself for awhile to heal and adjust. And I am not saying I became a dead beat mom who left my children to fend for themselves. I was still a mother to them. I read to them, taught them, and went through the daily motions of feeding, cleaning, driving, helping with homework, etc. I cared for them the best way I could while struggling. However, I lost the motivation behind my mothering. I lost the emotional attachment I once had with them. I lost sight of who they truly are. And I have been starkly feeling that loss lately. I realize that it is time to reconnect.

I think somewhere with all the pressures and obligations that come in being a mother I get so busy "doing" things that I forget to "be". I forget why I became a mother. It was not to have a perfectly clean house, or to run errands all day. It was not to merely survive from one moment to the next. I became a mother because I had a desire in my soul to truly love, care for, teach, and find joy in my children. This month I hope to reconnect with that image of being a mother.

So my mission for March is to become a mindful mother. I want to savor the moments I have with my children: good or bad. I want to stop and truly think about their needs when they come to me. I want to listen, try to understand, and show them how much I love them through my actions. I want them to know how special they are because they see it in my eyes. I do not want them to ever doubt my love for them. And I want to truly enjoy being a mother. I want to remember the privilege it is to be given this sacred and noble calling on this earth.
In my efforts to do this I have set some specific daily goals that tie in with the overall theme of being more mindful in my parenting. They are:

1. Pray for each girl by name morning and night. Expressing to my Heavenly Father exactly what struggles I may be having with them, asking for ways to help them in their trials, and asking to see their needs and what I can do to help them grow.

2. Use only positive, uplifting words when talking to them.

3. Spend at least 30 minutes a day with uninterrupted one on one (or one on four) time with them just being together talking, listening, and showing them my love.



I hope that as I put forth the effort to be a good, mindful mother, I will be taught by the Spirit how I can accomplish this. I hope to reconnect to my children in ways that I feel have been lost this past year. And I hope to have a BLAST while doing it!

Purpose of this Blog

Last year a friend of mine inspired me. She wanted to grow. So to stretch beyond her normal views of life so she set a goal for each month. She chose something to do, or abstain from to help her see life in a new way. I had a lot of fun reading through her many adventures. One month she became a vegetarian. Another month she abstained from reading any celebrity gossip. With each month she shared her quirky stories along with the lessons she learned from each goal.
The past few weeks I have been pondering about some changes I would like to make in my life. Some things I want to do are small, others seem insurmountable. As I was thinking about how I would be able to accomplish all of these goals, my thought turned to my friend's experience with her blog and so this blog idea of mine was born (stolen). And although it is two months past the start of the new year, to me a late start is better than no start at all.
I do not claim to be a great writer. I used to wish I could eloquently express all the thoughts in my head in a way that others would be able to crisply feel and see what I was thinking. As time has gone on I realize that is not one of my talents. However, despite my apparent lack of talent in writing, I am still starting this blog. I am starting this blog to keep myself accountable and to have a record of the things I hope to learn from my monthly goals. I titled the blog "Operation Stretch" because I hope to stretch myself in ways I have not experienced so far in my life. I am excited to get started. I hope you'll have as much fun reading my experiences as I did reading my friend's last year.