March's Mission: Mindful Mothering

Since becoming diagnosed with Graves' Disease I have learned the importance of being mindful. Before truly learning about what it meant to be mindful the only image that came to mind was people sitting in India in an outdoor arbor with their legs bent at impossible angles, pointer fingers touching thumbs, humming a mantra. Quite honestly, I thought it was weird, awkward, and not something I wanted and/or needed to learn about or participate in. However, I have come to love mediation and mindfulness. Mindfulness in simple terms is slowing down and living life moment by moment, enjoying the sights, sounds, feelings, emotions, etc. that come with each experience.

Too often in my busy life, I let moments slip by without even being aware of what I am missing. The little songs my girls sing when they are playing in their rooms. The sweet sticky kisses pressed to my cheek as I am hastily counting down the minutes until bedtime. The giggles, the wilted flowers given to me as gifts, the smell of freshly washed children, the feeling of peace and love that can come as I simply ponder the wonder it is to be a mother to these amazing spirits.

I hate to say it but with my sickness a sense of selfishness crept in. In simply doing what I felt I needed to do to make it through my days, I became entirely wrapped up in myself in many aspects. Instead of focusing on my children's needs I was focusing on my own. This in and of itself is not entirely wrong, I did need to focus on myself for awhile to heal and adjust. And I am not saying I became a dead beat mom who left my children to fend for themselves. I was still a mother to them. I read to them, taught them, and went through the daily motions of feeding, cleaning, driving, helping with homework, etc. I cared for them the best way I could while struggling. However, I lost the motivation behind my mothering. I lost the emotional attachment I once had with them. I lost sight of who they truly are. And I have been starkly feeling that loss lately. I realize that it is time to reconnect.

I think somewhere with all the pressures and obligations that come in being a mother I get so busy "doing" things that I forget to "be". I forget why I became a mother. It was not to have a perfectly clean house, or to run errands all day. It was not to merely survive from one moment to the next. I became a mother because I had a desire in my soul to truly love, care for, teach, and find joy in my children. This month I hope to reconnect with that image of being a mother.

So my mission for March is to become a mindful mother. I want to savor the moments I have with my children: good or bad. I want to stop and truly think about their needs when they come to me. I want to listen, try to understand, and show them how much I love them through my actions. I want them to know how special they are because they see it in my eyes. I do not want them to ever doubt my love for them. And I want to truly enjoy being a mother. I want to remember the privilege it is to be given this sacred and noble calling on this earth.
In my efforts to do this I have set some specific daily goals that tie in with the overall theme of being more mindful in my parenting. They are:

1. Pray for each girl by name morning and night. Expressing to my Heavenly Father exactly what struggles I may be having with them, asking for ways to help them in their trials, and asking to see their needs and what I can do to help them grow.

2. Use only positive, uplifting words when talking to them.

3. Spend at least 30 minutes a day with uninterrupted one on one (or one on four) time with them just being together talking, listening, and showing them my love.



I hope that as I put forth the effort to be a good, mindful mother, I will be taught by the Spirit how I can accomplish this. I hope to reconnect to my children in ways that I feel have been lost this past year. And I hope to have a BLAST while doing it!